October 13, 2006
I'm so glad I can admire what a family can be, and that I have a desire for friendship and creativity and the pure things of life - like nature and art, music, adventure, good times. I hope I'm going keep on knowing all these things - and knowing them better, I'm sure I could lighten up and have a bit more fun! Yet sometimes - I can see a dream of these things -something I could long for - or pray for or hope for, and in reality - its like wishing my life was different. I think the courageous thing is to live the creative and loving life in the surroundings that you find yourself in. For me its here - and that's because I believe God called me here - which must seem strange to many people. God might one day say - "well Beth - its time - I'd like you to fall in love and have a beautiful family". Then that will be a good and perfect time. But for now God has said - "well Beth I want you to go to Albania - and do the things that I have asked you to do". I woke up this morning more able to walk in that - because I realised that God knows the reasons he has asked me to be here - and because he knows the future I can trust him with what he asks, and not only that but his desire, his will for my life - is by far the best - because he knows why he is asking me to do these thing - now, in this specific timeframe. It may not be forever - but its what is needed for the time being, and in someways if not in all ways - only God knows why. So I'm going to trust in him, and ask him what he wants and how to do it. Everything else is in his hands - I hope he doesn't take away the good desires I have which he has no doubt given me - and the longings and hopes and dreams - I hope he fulfills them - but instead of being caught up in them - I want to be fulfilled and joyful and complete doing what he has asked me to do. God will take care of the rest. As long as it is Jesus who has asked - I can find all I need - to do anything he sets before me. Jesus said the same thing - "my food is to do the will of my father." Gods doesn't ask of us without reason.