March 10, 2005

catching the waves

My world is going upsidedown, or maybe not upsidedown - but certainly hanging in the balance - almost as though I'm waiting on a wave, just about to be carried - but don't know if it will take me under and cream me, or or if I'll ride it smoothly to shore. My heart has been open, and my spirit longing for the place I have felt so called to for so long. Already I think of the individual kids that I have dreamed of being alongside in their lives. And it might all happen still, it might all be a miscommunication. I wrote a special, good man that I wasn't ready to say a marriage yes to him, and he wrote - if that were so - I should not come at all. Why would he say that? It has to be miscommunication! So I decided I will not yet grieve this, I wont believe that he means what he says. I'll believe he is only hurt, and in a few days he will write or call, and he would accept me as I am (expectant of feelings of love, in time, in such precious service together) So I'll silently wait, waiting for the wave to break.

2 comments:

Jenn said...

The nature of love is so mystical at times, and at other times, clear as day. Simply, it should be offered unconditionally - just like acceptance. Instead, it usually comes to resemble a selfish battle of the wills, and in that instance, there is no winner. Keep listening to what God is speaking to your heart. Don't fear to trust him. It will all end the way its supposed to.

PS - I'll post your interview questions here when I can think of them.

Jenn said...

Here are the official rules of the interview game:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
6. I will answer reasonable follow up questions if you leave a comment.

Here are your questions:
1. Describe the place where you are when you feel the absolute freest and best you’ve ever felt in this life.
2. If you could only have one meal for every meal for every day for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
3. You are given the opportunity to record a CD with your new band and the first single hits number one on the charts. What is the name of your band? What is the name of your new CD and the hit song? And, who would you thank on the inside cover and why?
4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
5. What piece of art speaks to you the most? What does it say?