April 08, 2005

dark part of my soul

It is silent, staring out the window
feeling alone, inferior, unknown.
It feels unobtainable -
yearning for acceptance, keeping isolated, retained.

It is broken, crying quietly and within.
It's not all consuming - except for moments in a day,
sometimes days within a year,
years within a lifetime.

It's not all of me,
only the dark part of my soul.

Pour light into the darkness,
a flood of bright exposure -
In a wide open space let fresh breezes and glory freely flow
Till the brown dark earth sparkles
daisies, buttercups and precious stones
in dew kissed blades of deep green grass.


allan said...

Hey beth...I really liked that. I loved the last verse. As I read it I could just visualize this brown earth and suddenly beauty bursting through...

Thank you for sharing. Hey can you send me your email address. I'd like to write you quick non-blog note just to say hi and all.

BTW..I wish I had gotten to know you a little more while we were at Moody. You have some great and beautiful thoughts. Well...we have eternity right?!?!

allan said...

Hey it's allan again. I was lying out in the sun having a QT and I was reading Isaiah 43-44 and this one part remided me of your poem. I know it doesn't have much to do with it...but for some reason it counjoured up the same image your poem did. ...actually maybe it is similar. Well, see for yourself.

"For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendents. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.
One will say, 'I belong to the LORD'; another will call himself by the name of Jacob; still another will write on his hand, 'The LORD'S',and will take the name Israel." (44:3-6)

beth smith said...

Hey there Allan,
Thanks for writing and for the Isaiah verses too. There's so much promise and hope in the thought of God making the earthy dirt become full of wonderful colours and life. Anyway thanks - and I think one of the things I look forward to about heaven is just the continual hang out time we will all be able to have - and we'll just have way too much love for all of our favorite people and everyone else too! Anyway - gotta run - am at work. Would be brill to hear from you - smithbethy@hotmail.com

Jenn said...

its almost midnight here...just wondering where you are now and what you're doing with that most interesting life you've got. Megan and i were just comiserating about the absence of male counterparts in our lives. Sometimes I feel like that's the dark part of my soul, the lonely part I don't talk about much. i hope you are well, friend, and I just want to remind you that i'm coming to see you in a few short months!!!

nadine said...

Dearest beth,
that is a beautiful poem, thanks for writing it. I wanted to cry to think of you so sad... Just discovered you here I hope we can keep in touch - do you have an address of that flat in Albania to write to? I have wanted to write. Enjoying your fab website!
Love Nadine